iFall Apart
by Cthepokedots
Summary: When tragedy hits Freddie changes drastically and only his friends can pull him out of it. Creddie, rating may go up. Chapter 5 up.
1. Freddie loses

Summary: When tragedy hits Freddie changes drastically and only his friends can pull him out of it. This will be a Creddie, rating might change, we'll see.

Hey everyone, this is my first story so constructive criticism is appreciated. I'll let you know right now, I've never written anything like this before, but I thought the hobby would be great for my summer. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly or any of the characters. Sad, but true.

* * *

It was just a regular day for the iCarly team. They were on the set working on ideas for the upcoming iCarly episode. Summer was approaching and the end of their junior year was upon them. The thought of summer was bitter sweet as it would be their last one together before all the stress of college hit. Carly and Sam were laying on bean bags upside-down as they discussed ideas for the next show. Freddie was adjusting the cameras and checking the other equipment.

"What if we break soda bottles with jelly beans from a slingshot?" Carly suggested.

"I'd rather eat the jelly beans than sling them across the room." Sam said, she looked dreamily at the ceiling for a second, "Beans should only ever be made out of jelly…"

"There's ham downstairs if you're hungry Sam" Carly smiled.

"Be right back!" Sam yelled as she took off across the room and out the door.

Freddie glanced after her as she ran out of the room, and then returned to what he was doing. He had a sneaky suspicion that Sam had been messing with his tech cart. All of the modems and routers were in different spots and his laptop had the background of a monkey butt. He sighed as he looked at it again. His settings password had been changed so he could get rid of the picture.

"What's wrong Freddie?" Carly ask hearing his sigh from across the room.

"Sam messed with my computer again. She changed my background and my password, so I can't change it back."

"Have you tried all your nicknames?"

"Yes."

"What about all of Sam's favorite things? Ham, steak, meat, jelly beans?" She offered that last one with a small giggle.

"Not jelly beans…..No that doesn't work either." He groaned again in frustration. "I'm not going to let her do this to me anymore, it's not fair!"

"I have an idea." Carly said. She got up and moved over to his computer. She quickly typed in a password and hit enter.

"Hey, that was it!" Freddie grinned at her. "What was it?"

At that moment Sam came back into the room carrying a slab of ham and a knife. "It was Carly will never love you" she said taking her place on the bean bag again. "I may be mean, but I don't lie."

"Sam…" Carly sighed.

"It's ok Carly, I haven't given up hope." Freddie smiled at her.

"Freddie I-" Carly started, but was interrupted by the loud ring of a phone. The three teenagers all started to look at their phones.

"It's mine." Freddie said, he started to leave the room answering it on the way, "Hello?"

Carly and Sam turned back towards each other to start discussing more ideas for the show when they saw Freddie drop the phone.

"Freddie? What is it?" Carly said looking over at him.

He didn't answer.

"Freddie? Freddie?"

He slowly turned around to face his two friends, a look of complete shock on his face. His pupils were wide and his mouth was slightly open in surprise. "It's my mom…" He mumbled out, "She's got caught in a robbery and was shot. She's at the hospital."

Carly didn't waste any time. "Sam, find Spencer, hurry! Grab some water too!" Sam hurried past Carly giving Freddie a sad, but hopeful glance as she passed. "Freddie, I think you should sit down." Carly said calmly, turning her attention back to him. He looked completely unaware of anything around him.

"Freddie. Come on, just sit down," Carly took a few steps towards him and placed her hand on his shoulder. He blinked quickly and looked at her with the same blank expression. His eyes slowly met hers and he fell against her crying. She guided him to the floor as she held him trying anything she could think of to make him calm down.

"We're going to go to the hospital now. Everything's going to be okay. We're just waiting for Sam to find Spencer and then we're going. Everything is going to be okay" She repeated the phrase over and over as he sobbed against her. Sam called up saying that they were ready to go.

"Alright, come on, on your feet. We're going now." Carly pulled Freddie up with her and forced him into the elevator.

He seemed unable to walk and didn't respond to anything going on. He was rushed into the lobby and the out to Spencer's waiting car. Carly put him into the back seat and buckled him in. He kept staring ahead of him, tears silently rolling down his face. Carly took his hand and kept talking to him, but nothing she said reached his brain. It was all black inside his head with only one thought forcefully ramming around: Mom.

The group arrived at the hospital only a few minutes later. Freddie was still in a daze as they headed to the receptionist to find out where Mrs. Benson was. The lady behind the counter asked a lot of questions about why they needed to see her. After about five minutes of holding them up Sam stepped up to the counter with a look of pure fury. "Listen lady, if you don't tell us where Freddie's mom is in the next two seconds, **you're** the one that's going to need the emergency room." The woman looked shocked than mumbled out, "Third floor room 305."

They all hurried away practically carrying Freddie as they headed to the elevator. Carly took his head and gently forced him to look at her. "Freddie, we're almost to your mom, okay? Nod if you understand." Freddie nodded slowly and then went back to staring at the closed doors. He jumped slightly as they opened, finally realizing where they were he ran out to the room where is mother was.

As they reached the door a doctor came out a look of deep concern on his face. Freddie went straight to him, "Freddie…I'm Freddie… Where's my mom?" The doctor looked confused and glanced at the rest of the group for help.

"He's Marissa Benson's son." Spencer said, "We were told she's in room 305."

"Oh, I see." The doctor looked down at Freddie, "She's in critical condition at the moment; the bullet went through the main artery in her shoulder. We're doing everything we can, but we're not sure she'll make it. I'm very sorry. There's a waiting room down the hall you're welcome to wait there." He then turned and walked away.

"We just have to wait now Freddie." Carly was still trying to comfort him as he looked after the doctor. She never felt so helpless before, she was completely unable to help him in his time of need. _He always knows how to make me feel better, why can't I help him?_ She thought to herself as she once again led Freddie to where they needed to go.

The hours passed slowly with very little update from the nurses. They would walk past and give small amounts on information at a time. "She's in surgery." A while later, "She's resting." Shortly after that, "She's run into trouble and she's going back into surgery."

It was past midnight, Spencer was staring at the wall, lost deep in thought as Sam snored against the wall. Carly was still holding Freddie as he slowly rocked back and forth through his stress. He'd been like this since the nurse had visited over two hours ago. Carly continued to hold him as she whispered what she hoped were calming words over and over. It was then, that the doctor returned.

Freddie jumped to his feet and looked hopefully at the doctor, but he immediately started to cry at the look on his face. "She's dead, isn't she." He choked out.

"Yes, I'm sorry son, we did everything we could. She lost too much blood. I'm sorry for your loss." He looked sadly at Freddie and then around at the rest of them. With a small nod of sympathy, he left them to grieve.


	2. Freddie changes

AN: A special thanks to sockstar, HappyIsWhatHappens, wstrnplsr105 and greenpenguin15 for reviewing. I'm glad you guys liked the story and reviewed it for me. It really means a lot.

Now on with the story!

* * *

After his mom's death, he had gone into a deep depression and could barely function. Carly would go over to his apartment every day to make sure that he was eating and taking care of himself, but even with her visits, he was slowly wasting away. iCarly had been up on hiatus indefinitely until Freddie was better. Two weeks after the shooting, his aunt came to take him to live with her. Carly had gone to his apartment to help him pack only to find him screaming that he wouldn't leave. His aunt couldn't let him stay in the apartment alone, so Spencer invited Freddie to stay with Carly and him. It was the first time Freddie had smiled since that phone call.

However, even after moving into the spare room in the Shay apartment, Freddie remained depressed. He spent long hours of the day just staring out the window at the sky, and every night crying into his pillow. Carly couldn't stand to see him like this, and exactly a month since Mrs. Benson's death, she had to say something.

"Freddie? Please talk to me. It's been a month and you've barely said a word to anyone. You don't eat, and I know you haven't been sleeping. I want to help you." She walked over to sit beside him on the floor. He didn't seem to recognize her presence in the room and continued to stare out the window.

"Freddie. Come on, let's go downstairs and get you something to eat. We can sit at the bar and talk." She gently grabbed his arm and started to lift him up. He turned to look at her; silent tears were rolling down his cheeks. Carly gasped quietly at the sight of him. His lack of food had taken its toll on him. His cheeks were sinking in and his eyes were red and hollow. His lips were tight and dry. His body was smaller and his collar bones were noticeably sticking out. But the thing that shocked Carly the most was the lack of emotion in his eyes. His once deep, brown eyes were dull and lifeless. They didn't glow at the sight of her like they used to.

"Why bother?" His voice was raspy and weak. "She's gone. What's the point to anything?"

"Your friends are still here for you Freddie. I'm still here for you. We can help you get through this together. Just let us help you." Carly begged him.

"No, no one can help me now. I'm alone." He pulled his arm out of her grasp and lowered himself back to the floor.

Carly stayed with him for the rest of the day and into the night. Spencer brought up food for them, but Freddie still refused to eat. Carly was getting desperate so she called Sam.

"Hey Carls. How's he doing?" Sam said.

"Not good. He's still not eating and all he's doing is staring out the window. If this doesn't change soon, he's going to have to be hospitalized." Carly answered. She had moved to outside his door so he wouldn't hear her talking about him.

"Alright, I'm on my way over. I'll see if I can make him eat." Sam sighed and hung up. _This is ridiculous. He's going to kill himself if he keeps this up._ She thought as she headed out of her house and down the street to the Shay apartment.

"Alright, let's get the nub to eat." Sam had just walked into Freddie's room. She went over to him and forced him away from the window. He didn't struggle; he just glanced over at her with sadness on his face. "Come on Freddie, if you don't eat you're going to die. Is that what your mom would have wanted?"

Freddie flinched at the mention of his mom. Tears started flowing down his face again, he shook his head violently. "No. No, she wouldn't…" He cried and fell against the floor.

"Then come on, I bet if you eat, you'll feel better." Sam pulled him up and placed the plate of food Spencer had brought up in front of him.

Freddie grasped his fork weakly and ate. He soon realized just how hungry he was and before long, the plate was empty. He looked up at Sam, and then at Carly. "I'm still hungry." He said softly.

Carly smiled. "There's plenty of food downstairs in the kitchen. Let's all go down there, and you can have whatever you want."

Freddie nodded and with the help of the two girls, they all headed to the elevator. Spencer was at the kitchen table staring at the wall. He had lost the will to sculpt since Mrs. Benson's death. All the sadness that was in the house was putting a cork in all of his creative energy. He knew that as the adult, he should be able to take responsibility and help poor Freddie get back on his feet, but he didn't know what to do. His thoughts were lost as he heard the elevator ding as it stopped on the first floor. Carly, Sam and Freddie walked out.

"Hey guys!" Spencer smiled, thrilled that Freddie was finally out of his room. "What are you up to?"

"Freddie's hungry." Carly said returning the smile. "We're going to get him something to eat."

"Awesome! How about I make us all some spaghetti tacos?" Spencer was grinning from ear to ear. He couldn't contain his excitement. He was hoping this was the turning point and Freddie was finally on his way to acceptance and recovery.

Carly turned to Freddie. "Would you like some spaghetti tacos?"

Freddie looked at her. She could see in his eyes that he was struggling to come up with what to say, as if he had lost his ability to process thought. "Y-yes… Please…" He said.

Everyone smiled at him. "Great, I'll get cooking!" Spencer jumped up and raced around the kitchen. Carly led Freddie over to the table to sit, while Sam grabbed plates and glasses. There was a since of hope in the apartment. Spencer, Carly and Sam all believed that Freddie was going to get better. This was his turning point.

That was five months ago.

Now, Carly and Sam barely saw Freddie. He still lived at the Shay apartment, but he was almost never home. He would spend days off with his new "friends", and when he did come home, he wouldn't talk to Carly or Spencer. Just head straight up to his room and lock the door. Carly was becoming desperate to talk to him, but was too afraid to. At the start of this new behavior she had tried to find out what was wrong with him.

"Freddie, where were you last night?" Carly asked. She walked over to him as he lounged on his bed.

"I was out. What's it to you?" He shot back angrily.

"I-I was worried about you."

"Well that's great. Why don't you go worry about me somewhere else. You're bothering me." He snatched a magazine of his dresser and hid his face behind it. But Carly didn't leave. "I said get out!" He yelled and threw the magazine at her. She ran from the room crying.

"I don't need you. You'll only leave me like she did." He said bitterly to himself.

Carly hadn't tried talking to him since then. They still acknowledged each other at school and at home, but it was nothing more than a look and small nod.

Freddie had taken to several new hobbies. He worked out now, and was one of the strongest guys in the school. He and his new friends would terrorize the younger kids and smoke behind the building during class. Freddie had become the school bully, more feared than any other kid, including Sam.

Sam didn't take to well to that idea, and had challenged him one day, after he had beaten up a ninth grader for no apparent reason.

"What's wrong with you Benson?" She yelled.

"What's it to you Puckett?" He growled back. He was several inches taller than her and looked very intimidating.

"You used to be the tech nerd that everybody loved. You were a top student, what the hell happened?"

"I grew up." He said forcefully.

"No you didn't! Your world fell apart when your mom died, and now you're taking your anger out on every person you can get your hands on." Sam shot back, her voice rising. A group had gathered around to see the argument.

Freddie stiffened at the mention of his mother. Pain flashed through his eyes and he looked down at her. His hands clenched and unclenched and his breathing sped up. "As your former friend I'm going to let you off with a warning Puckett. Walk away now, and I won't beat the snot out of you." He then turned and headed away from her.

"Oh no, you don't!" Sam ran up and grabbed him around the neck, pulling him to the ground. She stood over him with anger across her face. "You weren't the only one that got hurt you know. Carly, Spencer and I hurt every day for you. Are you just going to let that all go for some drugs that numb your brain?" She said this part quietly so that only she and Freddie could hear it.

He stared up at her. "I've moved on Sam. Now I'm asking you to leave me alone, before I force you to."

"Never Benson. Believe it or not, we still care about you and we're not going to lose you."

"Have it your way." Freddie said and tripped Sam with his leg. She fell to the ground, hitting her head on the floor. Freddie grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and pulled her up. Sam struggled against his hold, but he was stronger than her now. He threw a punch at her, but stopped just before it collided with her head. They stared at each other for a moment before he threw her roughly back to the floor. "Leave now Puckett, or next time I **will** hit you." And with that, he was gone.

* * *

Ok, this chapter was a little bit longer than the last one. I hope you all like it. I'm not sure how long I'm going to make this story yet, but expect several more chapters for sure. Reviews are always welcome, and I accept the good and the bad. Thanks guys!

Cthepokedots


	3. Freddie steals

Sam hadn't been to the Shay apartment since that day. She knew that Freddie was almost never there, but she couldn't risk it. She was afraid if she ran into him, she would break every bone in his body. Not only was he torturing every person that he could he was hurting Carly and that was one thing she couldn't stand. Sam could see it in her eyes. She shrunk away in fear at the sight of him and in return, he started avoiding her.

Carly was taking the whole situation really hard. Sam did everything she could think of to keep Carly's mind off of Freddie. "Want to go to the mall? We can go to Build-A-Bra and that taco place they have." Sam offered one day. She had finally taken the chance and went to Carly's. She knew that Carly needed her.

"No, you go without me. I'm going to see if he comes home today." Carly replied. She was sitting on the couch glancing every few seconds over at the door.

"You know he's not. He's going to wait until he's sure everyone is asleep and then sneak in and then right back out." Sam said.

"I know…I'm just…hopeful, I guess." Carly sighed.

Both girls did eventually turn in for the night. Sam grudgingly slept over, sleeping in Carly's room on the floor in a sleeping bag.

"Hey Sam?"

"Yeah."

"Do you think he's alright? Where ever he is? Do you think he's safe and somewhere warm?"

Sam sighed, "I don't know Carls. He's smart. I'm sure he knows how to take care of himself, despite his recent change in attitude."

"I hope so." Carly rolled over in bed to look down at Sam. Her eyes were shining with tears in the dim light of the room. "I miss him."

"I know; I miss the dork too."

"What should we do? He can't continue to live like this. He could get hurt. He could be…killed..." Carly's voice trailed off.

"We'll think of something, but we're not going to think of anything without sleep." Sam reasoned.

"Okay." Carly rolled onto her back staring at the ceiling. _Please be okay Freddie, where ever you are_. She thought, as she closed her eyes and drifted into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

_What am I doing out here?_ Freddie thought as he and his friends headed down the street. They were on their way to a gas station; his friends were all out of money and needed to "borrow" some. Originally they were all just going to go relax at this new smoking lounge that had opened up, but when they arrived a gang from the neighboring high school was already there. It was either leave, or battle it out to be able to stay. _I really wish that we would just go home. I was cool with hanging out and getting high, but I don't want to steal._

"Are you sure we have to do this tonight? Can't you just wait until you get home and get money from your parents?" Freddie asked.

"No way Fredman, we have to get the cash now. What the hell are we going to do for the rest of the night if we don't?" Justin said.

"I don't know man. We could just go chill somewhere." Freddie answered.

"Fredman, quit being a punk and get your head into this." This time is Arron that responded. "Don't forget, just because you finished our test to join us doesn't mean you're with us for good. If you want to stay in this gang you better follow the rules."

How could Freddie forget the test? It had been one of the most soul crushing experiences ever.

**Flashback**

_Freddie approached the group of boys leaning against the back of the gym. The smoke from all of the joints they were smoking created a fog around them. Freddie took a deep breath of clean air before heading over._

"_Hey guys." He said, "What's up?"_

_The six boys looked at him skeptically. "What are you doing here Benson? Shouldn't you be hanging out with those iCarly chicks?" One of them answered._

He must be the leader _Freddie thought. "Uhh… No, I left them. I'm looking for a new group to hang with…"_

_The leader chuckled, "Oh really, why don't you go join the AV club people? Aren't you the president of that dork parade?" The group laughed. Freddie glanced at all of them; he was doing his best to keep his cool, but he could feel himself hyperventilating._

"_I...I quit that club too. I was…tired of hanging out with those…those dorks…" Freddie was shaking. _This is going to be harder than I thought.

_The boys laughed louder. "You did, huh? So what makes you think you can join us?" The leader leaned against the gym again, crossing his arms and looking intimidating._

_Freddie gulped, this was his chance. He took a similar stance as the leader and replied, "What makes you think I can't?"_

_The leader smiled at this, "You've got guts Benson, I'll give you that. We'll give you a test and if you pass, you can be one of us."_

"_Really! I…I mean…That's cool." Freddie tried to keep calm, but inside he was excited. He was hoping that this group would be the start of his new life. Anything he did from his old life reminded him of…her._

"_Alright, you know that freak Gibby, right? You have to give him a swirly and then tie him to the school flag pole by his underwear; upside-down."_

**End of flashback**

_Gibby hasn't been at school much since then. I wonder if he's still in therapy…_

Freddie and the gang arrived at the gas station, Frank, the leader started listing off assignments for everyone. There were only six of them that night. Arron and Justin were on look out in the store, Collin was going to do the actual stealing with Frank as backup in case things got messy, which left Freddie and the second newest member Ray to be guards outside of the store. Freddie had never done anything like this before, he was a little nervous.

"Don't worry Fred, I was really scared my first time too, but Frank plans these things down to the second. You'll see, everything will be just fine." Ray patted him on the back and walked off to his position.

"Yeah…just fine…" Freddie moved over to his position as well. He was watching the north-south road from the shadows of the trees. His task was simple, if he saw a cop he had to chuck a rock at the window of the store and then cause a small distraction for everyone to get out. _I hope the police don't show…I have no idea what a good distraction is. _

He needn't have worried, for a few minutes later the four boys ran out of the gas station followed by a very angry manager. Ray and Freddie bolted from their hiding spots. The gang pelted down the street and into the night.

* * *

Sorry for the long wait everyone. Summer finally got a little busy. I'm hoping to have the next chapter written and posted within the next few days. Thanks to everyone that commented and added the story to their favorites, it means a whole lot.

So what do you guys think is going to happen to Freddie? He seems to still have a conscience. Let me know what you think and I'll take it into consideration for future chapters.

Love ya!

Cthepokedots


	4. Freddie reasons

AN: I have no idea about the actual location of gun stores in the Seattle area, those are made up. However, 15th Avenue is an actual street in the city. If any of the facts are wrong, just keep in mind that it's all fiction. Enjoy!

* * *

Freddie slumped against the wall of an alley trying to catch his breath. He and his gang had been running almost nonstop for the last few blocks. They had lost the manager a while back, but didn't want to stay in the area in case he had called the cops and they were looking for them. Frank did a quick check of the main street,

"All clear. Gather round and I'll give you all your cut." Frank pulled out the bag and began counting the money out.

"How much did we get this time Frank?"

"'Bout 300. Same rules as last time, older members get more."

Ray sighed as he and Freddie waited for their turn. Instead of dividing the money evenly so that everyone got about 50 bucks, Frank has a system so that the four top members got 60 and then he and Freddie would only get 30. Overall it made sense to Freddie, he and Ray had done the least dangerous task as lookouts while everyone else was in the store. He didn't mind waiting the extra few months for it to be his turn to get the full cut, but Ray was not happy.

"This is bull Frank! We're all be equal members of this gang. Fred and I did just as much for this job as everyone else did." Ray said angrily.

_Oh no…this is not going to end well. _Freddie was already backing away. Frank was the leader of the gang for a reason. He was the toughest and meanest guy in the area, no one messed with Frank. Other gangs didn't give them trouble strictly because Frank was the leader. There were rumors that he had killed people over gang territory and that he was wanted in other states for grand theft auto, arson, murder and rape. He was a force to be feared for a man of only 17.

Frank eyed Ray from the opposite side of the alley. He slowly got to his feet, leaving the money on the ground where it was being sorted. The other three guys backed away as well, leaving Ray and Frank standing in the middle of the road, glaring.

"You talk a lot of shit for someone who's only been with the gang for seven months. You think you can run this gang better than I can?" Ray's eyes flashed in alarm. "Well? Do you Ray?" Frank was yelling now.

Ray stood his ground. "I think I can run it more fairly than you are. Fred and I had dangerous jobs too. What if the cops had shown up? It would have been up to us to stop them from catching you guys! It's only fair that everyone gets the same cut, 50 for everyone. Don't you think Fred?"

Freddie glanced quickly between Ray and Frank. Overall, he was very happy with the hierarchy of the group. With Frank in charge they never had to worry about other gangs in the area. Frank was also willing to take the more dangerous jobs in whatever illegal activity they were going to pull. He was reasonable, for the most part, and gave every member of the group a chance to prove their worth. It was only a few months ago when Freddie had first joined the group that Frank had pulled him out of class to do a three man job.

**Flashback**

"_Okay, Fred. Here's the deal. We need to grab some more supplies for this upcoming fight between us and that prep school up the street." Frank started explaining. "We out number them, because most of the kids there are those super nerdy kids that have rich parents, not many members have joined this new gang they've put together. The issue is that those fucking rich parents just give their kids however much money they want to do whatever they want with. My inside source says that they've pulled out all the stops for this rumble and went out to get some AKs as well as a few shotguns. Today, you and I are going to come up with a better plan than that to beat them."_

"_You want my help with this? Why not ask Justin, he's the gun guy." Freddie was deeply confused, he'd only been in the gang for a few weeks and wasn't nearly street smart enough to know what guns to get._

"_Yeah man! You're super smart. The former geek in you will be a great help in coming up with a great plan to beat those preppy rich kids." Frank said, slapping Freddie on the back._

"_I-I don't know, Frank… I have no idea what would work well against those kinds of… of guns." Freddie was really nervous about the idea of guns. They brought back…bad memories._

"_I don't need guns to beat them. I need a plan to prevent them from using those guns." _

_Freddie started racking his brain. There were plenty of ways to get them busted for having those guns; weapons like those were illegal without a permit. "I mean, we could tell the cops, or their parents…"_

"_No shit dude!" Frank said angrily, "We can't tell anyone about it though. One, it could possibly rat out my source and two, it's a punk ass move. Gangs don't go running to someone's mommy and daddy about what their "wittle babies" are doing!"_

"_O-Oh…" Freddie hung his head embarrassed. He hadn't thought about how tattling could affect the gang. "Well…Then… Let me, um, do some research and get back to you tomorrow. I can come up with something…" Hopefully…_

"_Good idea Fredman. I knew I could count on you. Do this right and you might actually make it in this gang." Frank gave a small smirk and then left Freddie in the hallway._

_When Frank and Freddie met up at the back of the school the following day, Freddie was extremely nervous. The rumble was in two days and if his plan didn't fly with Frank a lot of his "brothers" were going to get hurt…or killed. Freddie was shaking at the thought of seeing people shot. More painful memories flashed through his mind._

"_Fredman!" Frank arrived at the wall where they always met. "Whatcha got for me?"_

_Freddie took a deep breath and swallowed. "I looked up a few stores in the area, and the only one that sells the bullets for the guns that those preps bought is just off 15__th__ Ave. At least, it's the only place within 20 miles. What I think we should do is bribe, rob, or otherwise incapacitate that store so that they won't sell the bullets to the other gang." Freddie looked at Frank's blank face. He seemed very impassive to the idea. "Any other show of force against these…ah…punks, will just end in blood. This way they'll have useless weapons and will be forced to meet us fist-to-fist."_

"_It's an interesting plan Fred, but… What if they've already purchased bullets?" Frank questioned._

"_I-I thought of that." Freddie answered. "So I called all the stores in Seattle to see if anyone had purchased bullets. No one has in several months. Unless these preps have had the guns for 8 months, they'll need the ammo."_

"_Stores aren't the only place to get ammo Fred. Did you think of the dealers on the streets that could supply them? Those guys aren't a simple investigative phone call away." Frank started glaring._

"_No other gangs, high school or adult, in this area have currently been reported with those guns. They're all sticking to silenced handguns, less conspicuous." Freddie answered nervously. Frank was an intimidating man when angry._

"_And how sure of your information are you?"_

_Freddie didn't hesitate, "I'm one hundred percent sure of this." _

_Frank studied Freddie's face with narrowed eyes. He was searching for doubt, anything that would hint at a possible kink in the plan Freddie had come up with. Freddie stayed still and met Frank's gaze. It was crucial that he didn't waver in his confidence of the plan._

_Frank gave a small half smile, the left side of his face wrinkling up into a sly grin. "Well done Fred. You, Justin and I are going to go "meet" this gun store owner right now."_

**End Flashback**

With Frank's leadership, they had successfully bribed the store owner to claim to be out of ammunition for the guns the preps had and the fight had been "fair". From then on, Frank always went to Freddie for the planning of jobs, rumbles, and any other scheme the gang needed to pull off.

Ray, on the other hand, had an excellent point. Everyone in the group deserved the same amount of money from the robbery they had just pulled. With the split that was planned, Justin, Arron, Collin, and Frank were taking a great deal more than Ray and he were getting and that seemed a little unfair. All for one and one for all, wasn't that usually how it went? In addition, Freddie and Ray, being the newest members of the gang, needed to stick together, didn't they?

"I…I…" Freddie stuttered out.

Frank looked at him plainly. "I want you honest opinion Fredman, do you think I should lead this gang or should Ray do it?" There was menace in his voice as if daring him to pick Ray. Freddie took a small step backwards.

"Freddie cleared his throat and looked straight at Ray. "Frank should lead." Ray glared at him in disgust; he looked betrayed as well as pissed. "But," Freddie continued, "I agree with Ray that it's not fair to split the cash unevenly. It was equally dangerous for everyone to pull this off."

Frank considered Freddie; his eyes unrevealing of any emotion he could be feeling. Ray's glared softened though; no smile, but a thankful relief spread across his face.

"Alright Fred." Frank spoke suddenly. "We'll split it evenly." He then turned to Ray. "But, if you ever speak out against my orders again, I will not hesitate to take you out. Got that Ray?"

Ray's eyes flashed with fear for only a second. Frank, no matter how reasonable he was being at the moment, was still a force not to be messed with. "Yes, sir." Ray said quietly, and then took his place back next to Freddie.

Freddie sighed in relief as he clapped Ray on the back gently. "Don't do that again, Ray." Freddie whispered almost silently to him. Ray just nodded, but his eyes had daggers for Frank. _This isn't going to end tonight_ Freddie thought.

* * *

Alright everyone, that's the next chapter. I know it took forever to get up and I'm really sorry about that. This installment had a lot of background into how Freddie started to fit into the gang, as well as how he fits in now. Now the real question that comes up is how Ray will handle the threat from Frank and what will happen to Freddie if a fight does break out.

As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Many thanks to those of you who have already reviewed I really appreciate your thoughts. I'm having an internal debate about whether to leave this rated T or to bring it up to M by added some intimate scenes. I'd love to know your opinion. So, leave a review with what you think and I'll follow the most popular response.

Lots of love,

Cthepokedots


	5. Freddie senses

AN: This chapter is going to be a little different. It's going to portray a few days in the lives of the iCarly gang. It goes back and forth between Carly/Spencer/Sam, and Freddie.

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**Wednesday**

Carly sat at home staring out the window. Freddie still hadn't come home. It had been at least a week since she had seen him at the loft. He hadn't been to school yet that week. She knew it was pointless to call him or even attempt to contact him in any other way. Sam had been doing her best to keep Carly's mind off of him, but now that Sam had to go home to take care of her mother for a few hours her thoughts returned to him. What was he doing, where was he, was he safe and warm; these questions swarmed her head like angry bees, bees that stung her brain over and over.

She sighed as the clouds started to cover the moon once again. She had heard earlier on the news that a robbery had taken place at a gas station about 2 miles from Bushwell Plaza. _That has to be Freddie and his friends…_ she thought. She was sorely tempted to go out into the cold and find him. She probably would if it wasn't for the leader of Freddie's gang. Frank was not kind to girls interrupting any gang meetings and would often beat the member associated with the girl, and would sometimes punish the girl too; depending completely on whether he could get her pants down before someone showed up to help.

Spencer was currently down stairs attempting to work on a sculpture for the opening of a new park across town. He was told that it should be child friendly which meant no sharp or spiky parts, nothing that could be broken off and used as a weapon or swallowed and choked on, and couldn't have anything on it that could possibly be associated with any gang in the area. The list of rules for the sculpture went on and on, but it wasn't the restrictions that were preventing his progress.

Spencer had long since given up on the idea of Freddie coming home. While Carly would sit diligently on the couch for a few hours before bed every night just waiting for the door to open, Spencer was doing his best to distract her from Freddie's absence. He let Sam stay over more often than she already did, which was just a few hours shy of having her live with them. He bought Carly new games to play with her other friends, and forced her out of the apartment so that she was away from thoughts of him. He cooked her favorite meals during their dinner conversations kept the topics clear of anything that could be seen as Freddie related. Yet, no matter what he did, she was slowly losing everything that made her Carly, and without Carly, there was no Spencer.

_He won't be home again tonight, or any night soon. What am I going to do for Carly?_

**Thursday**

It was early morning. Carly's alarm was going off, wailing with annoying beeps that it was time for school. Carly continue to lie in bed, staring at the ceiling. She had only slept for a few hours and was debating between staying home and trudging through another school day. She knew that if she went to classes she would spend her time zoning out while her teachers talked and her time in the hallways combing the sea of teens for Freddie in the vain hope she would be able to talk to him. She also knew that if she stayed home, she would simply sprawl on the couch and stare at the door in an equally vain hope he would appear at the door. She sighed and resigned herself to school, at least there she would move.

At the same time Freddie was also waking up. He had crashed at Ray's place. Ray's parents seldom came home and it was always safe to stay there. His phone was vibrating in his pocket, set to an alarm that had been there for years. Even though he rarely went to school now, he didn't have the heart to delete the alarm that woke him every school day. His mom had programmed it into his phone when she had finally agreed to give him one.

"If you're going to have cell phone, it will do something actually useful to your life and get you up in the morning." Mrs. Benson had ordered after he had opened the box on Christmas.

Freddie closed his eyes tight in sorrow as he remembered her voice that morning. _Don't think about her. Don't think about her._ He repeated the statement over and over again in his head. He grabbed his phone and dismissed the alarm before rolling over and forcing himself back to sleep, tears in his eyes.

**Friday**

Spencer sat at home alone, waiting for Carly and Sam to finish with school. He had been planning for the last few days or so to take the girls on a trip of some sort, to help take their minds off of Freddie. The only problem was, there wasn't anywhere in Seattle that didn't' remind them of Freddie. Spencer had spent hours on the computer trying to come up with something fun for them all to do. He had finally come to the conclusion that they should leave the state for the weekend. He had planned to take the girls to visit the Yellowstone National Park. If they left right after the girls got, they could get there by Saturday morning.

_They should be back any minute. _Spencer glanced at the clock again, 1:00, _probably another half an hour…_

At that moment, Carly and Sam were just finishing their last class of the day. The lecture was coming to a close and their teacher was rattling on about some weekend project he might assign because he was bored with his life. Sam turned to the clock, just seconds left. The bell rang and she and Carly were out of their seats and out the door before Mr. "Bored" could even say goodbye.

"So what are we going to do this weekend?" Sam asked as they headed towards the lockers.

Carly didn't answer. She was lost in thought about how long it had been since Freddie had come home. _It's been at least two weeks. He's got to come back this weekend for clean clothes and probably some food._She mindlessly turned the dial on her locker and started putting books away. She was still deep in thought about Freddie when Sam pinched her arm. "Oww! What was that for?" Carly snapped her head towards her.

"You've been zoned out for the last few minutes; I was bringing you back to this planet."

"Oh…" Carly turned away. "I…I was just…thinking about…him. He hasn't been home recently… he might be back…this weekend." She spoke so quietly that Sam could hardly hear her.

She looked at her best friend with deep concern. Carly had been depressed about Freddie, but nothing like this before. It was starting to affect her physically. She didn't have that same bounce in her step that she usually had. She didn't smile anymore. Her eyes were always downcast, staring at the floor. To Sam, she seemed to have stopped living; now she just existed.

Sam sighed as she slammed her locker closed. "Let's get you home, this weekend will be better." _I hope…_

Sam and Carly walked into the apartment to find Spencer jumping off the couch to greet them.

"I have a surprise for you guys!" He bounced over to them eagerly.

"What's that Spence?" Carly asked.

"I'm taking you two on a trip to Yellowstone this weekend!" He grinned excitedly. "Doesn't that sound great?"

Sam immediate caught Spencer's enthusiasm and smiled widely. "That does sound great. Let's go Carly." She turned to her best friend. Carly seemed unfazed by announcement and simply stared at her brother.

"What if Freddie comes home?" She whispered.

"Carly-" Sam started, but Spencer interrupted quickly.

"We'll leave him a note. We'll tell him where we went, when we'll be back and leave him some food in the fridge." Spencer was doing his best to get Carly out of the apartment for the weekend; she just needed to. He was hopeful that by pretending Freddie would be coming home, she would feel comfortable leaving. "How's that sound?"

Carly looked at him with sad eyes, but there was a little glimmer of her old self behind the haze. "Okay Spencer. Let's go."

Spencer and Sam grinned at her and then started packing up to leave. They both had hope in their hearts that this would be her turning point. _Maybe now, she'll be happy again._ They both thought.

**Saturday**

Maybe it was a good thing, or possibly not, but Freddie decided not to go back to the Shay loft that weekend. He was running low on clothes and money, even with the robbery. The only problem was that Ray's parents, for whatever reason, were actually going to be home that weekend and he couldn't stay there. He'd made new arrangements to stay with Frank instead. Freddie was a little nervous about staying at Frank's apartment. It was legitimately owned by Frank; bought and paid for by him with money that was not so legitimately obtained. However, Freddie trusted Frank, and there was no reason not to believe it would be perfectly okay to stay with him.

So, soon after the gang had finished with their usually Friday night activities, smoking, tagging, and generally causing problems, Freddie followed Frank to his apartment.

"This has got to be a big moment for you Fred, not many get to spend the weekend at my place." Frank said as they sauntered down the street.

"Yeah, I really appreciate it Frank. My place just isn't really great to go to for the weekends. The people I live with aren't…happy with my life choices recently." Freddie looked down at his feet. Thinking about how Carly, Sam and Spencer had reacted to his change was kind of painful. He missed them, but they just brought back too many memories.

"No prob, Fredman. I totally get how parents can get in the way of one's personal interests." Frank always spoke with an air of great intelligence, even though he was failing every class and probably wouldn't graduate. "My family just didn't understand my social growth, so once I had enough money, I invested in my own place; haven't seen those jackasses for three years. I'm pretty sure they've stopped looking."

Freddie did his best not to show any shock on his face. The idea of leaving his family forever was terrifying to him. He immediately regretted thinking about family. He felt his eyes start to burn, his throat was tight and he knew he was going to lose it. Freddie forced his eyes back to his shoes, concentrating as hard as he could on the texture of the sidewalk, the odd gray shapes from chewing gum that had long since been discarded. Freddie chose a distraction quickly and counts the distorted gray shapes as he walks on. _One…two…three…six…that must be a good spot to spit gum out…_ slowly but surely, his mind numbed to his memories and he could breathe again.

"Well here we are!" Frank broke Freddie's concentration. They had finally arrived at Frank's apartment. Freddie was deeply surprised by the quality of the apartment. For a 19 year old high school bully, he was doing extremely well for himself. It wasn't so much an apartment, as a high scale condo. There was a balcony overlooking the bay outside the city and a well kept lawn in the front. Frank didn't seem to share the property with anyone; there was only one driveway and nowhere else convenient to park, and a single car garage. A few of the bushes were trimmed into animal shapes.

"Wow…" Freddie was at a loss for words. "This is amazing Frank! You live here alone?"

"Yep; it's all mine." Frank smiled proudly up at it. "Took me two years to rustle up enough money from convenience stores and gas stations to pay for it, but now I own it right out. No more rent or anything." He turned grinning to Freddie, laughing at the look of complete shock.

"Come on Fredman. I'll give you the grand tour." Frank lead Freddie through the front door and into the condo. As Freddie followed his leader, he could sense that something was going to break in his life. It was coming, and soon. Freddie briefly wondered if he would end up back at that building full of bad memories, this only brought back new anxiety and the chocking feeling in his throat. He took a deep breath to calm his nerves. _Something is going to break…_

**Sunday**

The trip had really done wonders for Carly. She was laughing a little more and her eyes had regained some of that sparkle they had once been known for. There were still a few hours left of driving before they would all arrive back at the loft, but they really didn't feel the need to hurry. There were so many more exciting things to see on the road between Yellowstone and home that everyone wished the weekend was longer.

Spencer was practically radiating with happiness over how well his little plan had worked. He felt like he had his little sister back after months of a depressed shell of a girl. He inwardly patted himself on the back for a job well done and was silently thanking heaven it had worked. The backup plan was to send her away to Yakima for the rest of her high school education.

Sam was sitting in the back seat of the rental car laughing along with Carly and Spencer at some random joke they had just thought up. Everything felt normal again, even with Freddie still missing from the group. The small thought of Freddie that returned to Sam's mind dimmed her mood slightly. She still missed the nub; his dorky technology facts and his awful sense of humor about science. She sighed quietly, but quickly smiled again when Carly turned around.

"Something wrong Sam?" Carly asked.

"Nope! I was just thinking about all of that bacon that's waiting for me in the fridge." She looked dreamily out the window and sighed again to add more "truth" to her lie. "Mama's coming delicious bacon….Mama's coming…"

Spencer and Carly started laughing again. _Sam always knows how to brighten a mood, _Carly thought. She smiled along with her brother and best friend. It had been so long since she had laughed this hard that she couldn't believe how good it felt. Things were finally looking up for the group.

* * *

Alright everyone, that's the latest chapter. It's considerably longer than I first anticipated it to be when I started typing. The next chapter is when things are going to stat to get interesting with Freddie and his gang as well as with Carly and Freddie. There will probably be a few more chapters, I'm thinking two or three, and then that will be the end of it.

A great big thanks to all of you that have reviewed since I updated the story. I know it took forever to get the 4th chapter you guys and I'm really sorry about that. I'm hoping to have this finished up by the end of January, maybe into February.

As always, lots of love to you guys!

Cthepokedots


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